Introduction

Children do not develop emotional regulation independently from the beginning. Self-regulation develops gradually through repeated experiences with supportive adults.

For children with ADHD, self-regulation may be especially difficult because of challenges involving:

• Emotional control
• Attention
• Impulsivity
• Sensory processing
• Executive functioning

During overwhelming moments, children often require co-regulation before self-regulation becomes possible.

What Is Co-Regulation?

Co-regulation occurs when an adult helps support and stabilize a child’s emotional and nervous system state.

Examples include:

• Calm tone of voice
• Predictable responses
• Emotional validation
• Sensory support
• Physical presence

Children often borrow regulation from trusted adults.

Why ADHD Children Need Co-Regulation

During stress, children may struggle with:

• Emotional control
• Decision-making
• Problem-solving

The nervous system may become overwhelmed.
Connection helps restore regulation.

Effective Co-Regulation Strategies

🟢 Stay calm

Adult emotional states strongly influence children.

🔵 Validate feelings

Examples:
“I can see that this feels frustrating.”
“I’m here with you.”

🟡 Reduce demands during overwhelm

Children process information less effectively during dysregulation.

🔴 Use sensory supports

Examples:

• Movement
• Deep pressure
• Quiet spaces
• Fidgets

🟣 Keep language simple

Short, predictable communication reduces overwhelm.

Co-Regulation Before Problem Solving

During emotional dysregulation, children may struggle to process:

• Consequences
• Lectures
• Complex instructions

Regulation should occur before teaching.

The Role of Occupational Therapy

Occupational therapists help families develop:

• Regulation strategies
• Sensory supports
• Environmental modifications
• Emotional awareness skills

Final Thoughts

Children with ADHD do not need stronger control during moments of overwhelm.

They need supportive relationships that help the nervous system return to regulation.

Because self-regulation develops through repeated experiences of co-regulation.